Fighting Wife Episodes Within This Post:
A Calling to Protect Your Husband
A calling to protect my husband? Really? Is protector really one of my job descriptions as wife? He is the one with the muscles in this marriage. If someone broke into our home, he would be front and center to defend it.
This is true. But you are way more than a pretty face, and you are indeed called to protect that man of yours as well. In a more unconventional way that you perhaps have never thought about until now!
It is through the process of protecting him, that in time he will see and cherish, that we can mend that broken trust!
Read on Oh Dearest Wife, and you will find through scripture, the concept of protecting him, IS TRUE!
A calling to compass a man
How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? for the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man.
Jeremiah 31:22 KJV
The word compass is both a noun and a verb. The noun version means a device for determining direction, range, scope, boundary, which is profound in itself when considering a wife living after God’s kingdom in her marriage. But the verb version is where things really get interesting!
compass (verb) —
to devise or contrive often with craft or skill
bring about, achieve
encompass – to cover or surround, envelop, to form a circle around
to encompass your husband is to proect him
Interestingly enough, encompass is the word that the NKJV uses in place of compass. I especially love this! The New America Standard Bible says a woman will shelter a man.
How beautiful is that?
I take this as we as wives are meant to surround our husbands. Apart of our job description is to protect them from danger. Envelop actually means to mount an attack / to go completely around. One of the synonyms of enclose actually means a wall.
Is this calling to protect him nothing more than nonsense?
I know you may write me off as being an amateur-scholar of the Bible. This is true—I have no “professional” training on the Bible and it is entirely possible that I am misinterpreting this piece of scripture. In the larger context of Jeremiah 31, God is referring to Israel who is being unfaithful to Him and then this random phrase found 22 verses in.
May God deal with me ever so severely if I am proclaiming misinformation! May He open my eyes so I can see clearly and may He always reveal His truth to my heart and to yours.
But there are other pieces of scripture that I believe back up my beliefs that a wife is indeed called to protect her husband.
How are wives called to protect their husbands?
By learning from mother eve’s monumental mistake
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
Genesis 3:6
It is true. Eve had a lot of weight was on her shoulders being called the mother of all living (Genesis 3:20) and there is no way she knew what was hanging in the balance. Neither do we know what hangs in the balance when we sin. Who is to say that you or I wouldn’t have done the same exact thing in the moment that she accepted the fruit from the serpent? We do the same thing every single day in different ways. But consider 2 Timothy 3:16,
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
Also these other bits of scripture that indicate we are to learn from time long past.
For everything that was written in the past was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope.
Romans 15:4
“Ask the former generation and find out what their ancestors learned,
Job 8:8
If Eve were alive today, I wonder if she would do anything differently? I wonder if she would have any words of advice? Probably.
Even though the probability of us doing the same exact thing if placed in Eve’s shoes is quit high, we would be wise to learn from her mistake and make sure we are not deceived as she was (1 Timothy 2:14).
How do we make sure we’re not deceived?
By understanding the truth through revelation
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
Genesis 3:1-6
It is clear that the knowledge of the forbidden fruit was communicated knowledge, not revealed knowledge. The firsthand directions were given to Adam, not Eve, therefore making it Adam’s job to relay the information. Note also that God never said anything about touch as she told the serpent He had. Eve did not know the information from a firsthand account. Did she know that she could have gone to God and asked Him point-bank about it? Do we really think God would have sent her away if she had gone to Him and asked Him about the directions her husband had received? Perhaps she could have even asked Him why.
We can protect our husbands when we understand the heart of God and obey Him joyfully out of revelation
by KNowing the truth so we are not deceived
And it was not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the result.
1 Timothy 2:14
Adam knowing full well what he was doing is NOT what I’m pointing out here.
The fact of the matter is that if Eve hadn’t been deceived in the first place, she wouldn’t have given the fruit to her husband. Now before we go and get defensive and say, Well, Adam, should have been the man and stood up to his wife…” consider 1 Corinthians 7:33 that says,
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—
One thing I point out in my book, The Quarreling Wife, is would it have really mattered if he had spoken up? I cannot put words into Adam’s mouth but for us modern wives, it is a RESOUNDING NO. An untamed Christian wife runs the show all the while her husband is RIGHT THERE WITH HER. Why don’t most men step in? Because they don’t want the usual fight that mounts immediately after they speak their piece. For most of us for most of our marriages, we have done whatever we’ve wanted despite our husband’s opinion on the matter.
We can protect our husbands, when we know the truth and are not deceived.
By being a filter
It is very obvious that Eve sinned after talking with the serpent. But note this—the serpent was really after her husband. Remember 1 Corinthians 7:33? A married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—? Perhaps the serpent knew Adam’s weak spot in this area. Maybe he knew that the best way to get to Adam was to go through his wife to get there.
What Eve should have done is stepped aside and said, “Here talk to my man.” But there is something else she could’ve done. She did have knowledge of God’s command, even though it was communicated rather than revealed knowledge, and God’s, “No,” was no was no was no.
Instead of passing the buck to her husband in that moment she could have taken the bull by the horns and said, “No. I am not even going to let you bother my husband with that.”
Protect your husband through the process of filtering the devil’s lies
I don’t know if your husband is anything like mine, but I sure can wind that boy up like nothing and no one else can. Because I am the more emotional of the two of us, and the devil knows it, I am the prime candidate to bring my him down (and note, the devil gets off scot-free).
Men are good at handling the big issues in the household. Like going to work, taking care of the vehicles, and settling matters that I cannot myself settle. But when it comes to pettier issues, they tend to blow a fuse. By getting us wound up, the devil knows the likelihood of us running our mouths to detonate our husbands.
We need to be smart and say, “No.”
We can protect our husbands when we act as a filter to keep things from getting to him.
But what about protecting our men by way of the noun version of compass?
Compass (noun) — a device for determining direction, range, scope, boundary
The mass majority of women thrive at multitasking. That is what makes us such great mothers. We can do this and that, all the while making our men’s lunch, frying hamburger, nursing an infant, and finishing up the older kids’ school work. These are the types of duties that men find tedious and will blow most of their fuses.
Just because men find these types of jobs tedious does not make them so in the kingdom of God. God has simply made men and women beautifully different!
But this strong suit is one of the most powerful weapons we have to protect our men. Men do not thrive at the peripheral, at seeing what is coming straight for them from the side. By getting behind our men, by way of God’s perfect kingdom, we are in the perfect position to watch his back and let him know what is coming straight at him. We can only protect his flanks when we are behind him in this way.
A double-edged sword that can kill instead of protect
Even though we women have many strengths, those strengths can become our ultimate downfall if used in the wrong way. If our husbands are busy fighting with us, they will not only be attacked from what is coming straight at them, but also from the sides. We hinder instead of help. This comes back to bite us in the long run because what effects our men effect us as well. His failure to lead or lead in the wrong way can be the death of our families.
The definition of compass (n) that says a devise for determining direction can be equally detrimental if we lead them (through fighting) IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. Many of us have done that, haven’t we? Myself upfront and center!
Christian wives are stronger than society has led us to believe
The culture we live in has painted a picture that women are not as strong as men. This couldn’t be further from the truth, especially for Christian wives. When we get our hearts in alignment with God’s word and begin to settle these issues once and for all, our spiritual muscles quadruple in size.
The honest to God truth is this: If you and I don’t get in our right and proper place and flex these spiritual muscles of ours, our men don’t stand a chance. Wife reading this now, your husband desperately needs you to protect him in these ways. It might not be loud and sweaty but Wife, your muscles are crafty and ever-so needed EVERY DAY of your life spent with him.
The life of everything the two of you have built together hangs in the balance!