Disobedience.
I don’t know about you, but when I think about the word I often tend to think of my children. They are often always pushing the line, while my husband and I’s instruction seem to go through one ear and out the other.
My kids are not bad and yours aren’t either.
It was simply foretold in Proverbs 22:15 and so true that folly is bound up in the heart of a child. My kids are beginning to know more and more right from wrong. All children simply have a predisposition to making bad decisions and disobeying instructions that could spare them from the consequences that ensue.
But are we so different from our children?
As wives and proclaimed Christians, we actually are much like our children whether we admit it or not. Proverbs 14:12 makes a bold but true statement when it says, there is a way that appears to be right, but in the end leads to death.
God says to us wives to obey and submit to the governing authorities over us (ie our husbands) and we habitually disobey, as teetering toddlers, actually believing that there are no consequences.
- Buying those items when our men said no.
- Volunteering when they said, “Babe, no.”
- Leaving the house to run with the girls when they said stay home.
But what about when we mean well?
I don’t believe for a moment that any of us reading this now don’t mean well.
At the very least, our rationalizing disobedience makes a lot of sense in the heat of the moment.
- Those items—we really do feel that we need them and they will help us serve our families better.
- That community outreach the church is putting on—really does need volunteers and God would approve of that surely.
- And hanging out with the ladies—well, even Jesus stole away to tend to his personal self-care, right?
What constitutes disobedience?
Before you or I determine whether our disobedience means well or not, we need to establish what disobedience even means.
In short, disobedience is summed up by Proverbs 14:12. It is doing what is right in our own eyes.
What is right in our own eyes? Well, what is “right” to me may not be “right” to you, right? That is correct. All truth is relative without Christ.
You can read more in depth accounts of doing what is right in my own eyes all across this blog, or from my book The Quarreling Wife.
It all depends on what moral compass we are following. Christ’s moral compass is what binds all Christians together. But even at that, we are a fallen race and are often guided by our flesh which is rotten to the core by sin.
Adam wasn’t out committing adultery or murder
Remember, Adam didn’t cause all mankind to fall into sin by murdering in cold blood or cheating on his wife in passionate ecstasy with another woman. He simply disobeyed God’s direct orders.
In simplest terms—disobedience is not following directions. Lawlessness is sin (1 John 3:4).
Disobedience in Action
There are many examples of disobedience throughout the Bible from people who meant well but were in direct defiance of God. God took each account very seriously and we would be wise to learn from those who came before us.
Moses
In Numbers 20:1-13, the children of Israel were again without water to drink and they began to quarrel with Moses, insisting that he led them out in the wilderness to die.
Moses and Aaron then went before God and He spoke to them. Verse 8 says,
“Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.”
So Moses and Aaron gathered the people and in verse 11, Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
Doesn’t seem like too big of a deal, does it?
But the very next verse God says, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
What did Moses do that was so terrible?
He struck the rock when God said to speak to it.
A quick recap of Exodus 17:6 when the children of Israel were in need of water the first time:
God said, I will stand there before you by the rock at Horeb. Strike the rock, and water will come out of it for the people to drink.” So Moses did this in the sight of the elders of Israel.
On that occasion God did tell Moses to strike the rock. But not this time. Could God really blame or hold to account Moses for this? I mean, the children of Israel had been nothing but a pain and they were constantly whining to Moses.
At least Moses accomplished the task and meant well to even bring them water.
Following specific directions is apparently a very VERY big deal to God!
King Saul
In 1 Samuel 15, the prophet Samuel met with King Saul and gave him direct orders from God regarding the Amalekites.
Verse 3 says, Now go and attack Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.”’
Saul went and did as he was told—he did kill them—but he didn’t do exactly as he was told.
Verse 9 says, Saul and the people spared Agag, and the best of the sheep and of the cattle and of the fatlings, and the lambs, and all that was valuable, and would not utterly destroy them; all that was despised and worthless they utterly destroyed.
God met with Samuel and gave him a new word for Saul.
When Samuel met with Saul again, there was an exchange of what following orders actually meant.
Samuel said, ‘Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel. And the Lord sent you on a mission, and said, “Go, utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.” Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord? Why did you swoop down on the spoil, and do what was evil in the sight of the Lord?’ Saul said to Samuel, ‘I have obeyed the voice of the Lord, I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me, I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have utterly destroyed the Amalekites. But from the spoil the people took sheep and cattle, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.’
1 Samuel 15:17-21
Samuel replies with the following famous verses,
Has the Lord as great delight in burnt-offerings and sacrifices, as in obedience to the voice of the Lord? Surely, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is no less a sin than divination, and stubbornness is like iniquity and idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has also rejected you from being king.’
1 Samuel 15:22-23 (emphasis mine)
It is clear!
Well-meant disobedience is still disobedience.
But was it well-meaning in the first place?
Samuel conveys the heart of God when he said that stubbornness is as idolatry. Was God cutting to the heart of Saul who was lifting himself up in the sight of the people? Had he kept Agag as a trophy to mount in the den?
Here was King Saul who led the people to kill the Amalekites and then turned around to offer the very best of the spoil to God. What a guy!
But he did not follow God’s directions.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
Isaiah 55:8
uzzah, son of abinadab
Maybe you haven’t heard of Uzzah.
He was one of two brothers guiding the Ark of the God on a cart as it made its way from Baalah in Judah to Jerusalem in 2 Samuel chapter 6. One of the ox stumbled in verse 6 and in verse 7 Uzzah reached out to grab hold of the Ark, perhaps by mere reflex.
A seemingly good thing, right? Surely God wouldn’t want such a holy thing to get dirty or worse, damaged.
Verse 7 reads, The Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down, and he died there beside the ark of God.
God is holy and disobedience in any measure isn’t tolerated!
Uzzah clearly meant well.
But God’s holiness was on display in front of many eyes and clearly disobedience even in this measure wouldn’t be tolerated.
What did Uzzah disobey?
“This is the work of the Kohathites at the tent of meeting: the care of the most holy things. “After Aaron and his sons have finished covering the holy furnishings and all the holy articles, and when the camp is ready to move, only then are the Kohathites to come and do the carrying. But they must not touch the holy things or they will die. The Kohathites are to carry those things that are in the tent of meeting.
The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “See that the Kohathite tribal clans are not destroyed from among the Levites. So that they may live and not die when they come near the most holy things, do this for them: Aaron and his sons are to go into the sanctuary and assign to each man his work and what he is to carry. But the Kohathites must not go in to look at the holy things, even for a moment, or they will die.”
Numbers 4:4, 15, 17-20 (emphasis mine)
Was Uzzah a Kohathite?
The Bible doesn’t specify. Even if he was, a Kohathite wasn’t suppose to touch or look at the Ark. God had already been lenient in Uzzah’s carrying of the ark, already bending the rules AND TOUCH HAD GONE TOO FAR.
It wasn’t just Uzzah who was guilty of disobedience. It was David right on down to the priests he should have consulted in moving the Ark.
Again God doesn’t look at things like we do.
Maybe to Uzzah it was an act of heroism reaching out to steady the Ark, but not to God.
Perhaps it was a lack of fear and reverence that added to the unexpected death of Uzzah.
There is a way that appears to be right but in the end it leads to death.
Proverbs 14:12
Disobedience & wives
If we desire to be women of virtue, we need to ask ourselves the hard questions. One of them being this: Do we fall into any, perhaps all at one time or another, of the examples above?
Remember, The Woman of Virtue—she feared the Lord?
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Proverbs 9:10
- In our frustration, we disobey (Moses).
- We partially obey for GOOD reason, but what we’re really doing is blatant disobedience (King Saul).
- We think we’re doing a good thing for God OR act in haste, but are really disobeying (Uzzah).
I’m willing to wager that all of us fall into multiples if we’re honest with ourselves.
Whether you’re honest or not, God knows. God is not bringing any of this to our attention to bring guilt and shame. He is bringing it to our attention so we become aware and first, bring our sin to the foot of the cross and two, to purge our hearts from future sin.
Deception & disobedience
All of us probably fall into these acts of disobedience (among others in the Bible) but cannot see it because we are blinded by deception. What has most of us deceived is that our disobedience really does mean well.
This is obvious as with the story of Uzzah.
Many of us presume that the end will be good so we justify a sinful way in getting there. Isn’t that exactly what Uzzah did? He presumed that it was better to touch the Ark than to let it touch the ground.
Do we really think that God is unable to protect His majesty?
The end does not justify the means.
We are deceived by this same notion as wives.
Presumption in this way makes us think that nagging (manipulating) change in our husbands will inspire them to draw near to God and be better for it.
They will not be better for it as Proverbs 21:9 tells us that it is better for him to be alone than to be with a quarreling wife. We are not granted the fruition of this thought because the end rarely turns out good.
The Bible actually says of presumption that it is as inequity and idolatry (1 Samuel 15:23).
Interesting that we wives think we are merely presuming (assuming) OF OUR HUSBANDS. BUT WE ARE PARTAKING IN SIN! This is a huge unveiling.
A more likely scenario will be that we will exert unnecessary energy fighting with our men, become angry at God, and add to the chasm that already exists between us and our men. In the end our efforts may very well have the reverse effect and pull them further from God because we’re being God-awful.
Why would they want to be around the God we claim to represent when we are in such states as those?
I often think of something I say to my kids on this topic which is that if they disobey me, things wont turn out good. The same applies to us as wives.
We cannot sin and then expect God’s blessing!
No matter how far along we are in this journey as wives—whether you’re here for the first time or a veteran whose been trying to live these truths—it would all do us some good to back that thing up and understand the Ways We Can Be Deceived as Christian Wives.
Radical obedience will lead to radical change
I heard a pastor say once, and it will be forever etched in my brain: Freedom will always follow obedience.
Do we want a better marriage?
We need to obey God through the government He has established over us and by extension bring honor to the God we serve! Blessing and peace come from Him alone!
Do we want a more fulfilling marriage? We need to obey God through the government He has established over us. Do we want to be free in our marriages? We need to obey God through the government He has established over us.
Will it be difficult when starting out?
I can guarantee it. But I believe in you and so does your heavenly father. Doing so will exceed your wildest dreams in marriage and after experiencing the blessing that follow, you will never want to go back!